The Trickster's Sing Along Blog
by Bablefishmouse
Summary: Gabriel aka "The Trickster" has two immediate aims in life. He wants to get into the Big Evil League of Evil, and he wants Sam, the guy from the Laudromat, to notice him. Just when it looks like he might be getting somewhere with aim numero 1, Sam, well it doesn't go quite to plan. And it's all that Miss Knife's fault! Dr Horrible AU, not necassary to have watched to read.


"You know, no update on my application for the Big League of evil, I think that the application is really strong this y ear, it carries a letter of condemnation from the deputy mayor Zachariah, which, you know, should really carry some weight." Gabriel "The Trickster" winked at the camera that was filming his blog. He'd been keeping one as part of his plan to join the League for years, it was also a good way to keep up wi th the locals, and potential future minions "So, in other updates my freeze ray to give endless Tuesdays , the most depressing day of the week, is coming to fruition . I just need the wonderflonium to make it work, so just one more heist and then I think that will work, but now to check my mail."

The Trickster, because that was most definitely who he was in front of the camera, picked up a stack of mail and sheaved through it. The first few were all along the same lines "You're pathetic" or "How can you call yourself a villain." Seriously? He worked hard to maintain his reputation, admittedly one or two jobs hadn't gone as planned, and he hadn't actually killed anyone yet, but he didn't really want to. There were a few slightly more promising looking letters , one of which The Trickster picked at random and opened, proceeding to read it aloud :

"I see you are once again afraid to come and meet your arch nemesis, I waited for forty-five minutes in the park last Thursday…" The Trickster sighed, this guy again, what was his name, Ed ? Harry? "Look kiddo, you are not my arc h nemesis. My arch-nemesis is that all too flouncy Miss Knife. You are just some kid, who I am not going to waste time turning to ash, besides" Gabriel picked up and unwrapped a candy bar, "There are kids in that park." Wanting to get off the topic he opened the next letter and skimmed through.

"Long time watcher, first time commenter… blah, blah…. Hello by the way, I just hope there aren't too many vampires around," Gabriel winked at the camera before backtracking "Not that any of you probably get that reference, should I explain it or should I…" He paused for a moment "Oh go watch a decent TV series. Anyway," Gabriel turned back to the letter "You mention 'him' a lot on the blog, I was just wandering who is 'him' and does he even know you're into him."

The Trickster paused for a moment before seeing his world float away, lunching into:

" Laundry day ,

See you there ,

Underthings ,

Tumbling . "

The scene was all to vivid in Gabriel's mind, every Tuesday he, and the man of his dreams, did their laundry together.

"Want to say ,

Love your hair ,

Here I go ,

Mumbling .

With my freeze ray ,

I will stop the world .

With my freeze ray ,

I will find the time to ,

Find the words to …

Tell you how ,

How you make ,

Make me feel ,

What' s the phrase?

Like a fool ,

Kind of sick ,

Special needs ,

Anyways …

With my freeze ray ,

I will stop the pain .

It' s not a death ray or an ice beam

That' s all Johnny Snow .

I just think you need time to know .

That I' m the guy to make it real

The feelings you don 't dare to feel

I' ll be nd the world to our will

And we' ll make time stand still

That' s the plan,

Rule the world,

You and me,

Any day."

Gabriel saw the laundrette where Sam was, where he knew Sam from, Sam with his long hair, god guys were not allowed to have such gorgeous hair, or such a lovely smile, or such heart-breaking puppy dog eyes, let alone those dimples…

He remembers the day he finally spoke up, at least, sort of,

"Love your hair."

"What?" Sam had asked,

Gabriel had back tracked horribly "No I . . I, uh . . . love the . . . air"

"Anyway,

With my freeze ray I will stop …"

Balthy (who really needed a super-villain nickname ) walked in, jolting Gabriel from his trip down memory lane.

"What's up Boss? Guess what I , well, you've got?"

Gabriel chocked down the desire to reply something very rude to his friend and only minion, before setting eyes upon seeing the crystal black envelope , with the red seal upon it , embossed with a large pitchfork.

"That's his seal! That's his seal!" Gabriel squealed extremely being undignified . Although, in truth, he wasn't sure there was a dignified way to squeal. And he should know, he was the great and terrible Trickster. He perfected the art of making other people embarrassed.

"Open it, open it!" Balthy urged, sitting down.

"Okay," Gabriel opened it gently, when three scarlet demons jumped out and started singing about how "The Devil, how The Devil, had got his application ," but that it still needed "evaluation." It w as really quite decorative, but… No - Gabriel would not dare to even think to criticize the Evil League of Evil. They were utterly evil and the fact that singing demons were so cliché that they should be embarrassing was a thought he had neither thought nor voiced.

"This, this is perfect!" He turned to Balthy , "I've got a big, big heist planned tomorrow, and now the League will be watching, this is perfect!"

"Armour plated vehicle?" Balthy asked, going to look over the letter. Gabriel snatched it back and folded it away. He didn't want anyone looking at what might be his big break. Besides, Balthy had already heard the demons.

"Courier Van," Gabriel shook his head, answering the question, "It'll be like taking candy from a baby . I've done that in my time too. Not as easy as it sounds, but boy is the candy worth it." To prove his point he picked up a lollypop from somewhere and began licking it suggestively.

Balthy rolled his eyes, not that he could do a lot better. All he could do was get songs stuck into people's heads. A talent that would be truly annoying, if it was not for the fact that it tended to backfire. Gabriel was sure that his friend had got Celine Dion in his head again.

"Now," The Trickster said, getting into character "If you'll excuse me folks, I've got some tricks to make!" he winked at Balthy , who rolled his eyes again, truly a habit of his, and shut the door behind him.

By mid-morning the next day Gabriel (out of costume) was running so late, he feared that he might miss the van . It wasn't really his fault. He even half ran past a group of people clambered around something. Whatever it was, he didn't have the time, not if he didn't want the van to disappear, and then he might not get into the "Evil league of Evil"

Gabriel rounded the alley, good. The van hadn't left yet, in fact, the courier hadn't even come out. With a triumphant grin he lobbed the device on top of the van where it stuck, tighter than a vacuum. Then he felt a pressure on his shoulder as someone tapped him twice.

He spun around, about to shout at the guy for distracting him. His voice died in his throat. Sam. fuck, Sam , talking to him, and he has to deal with the remote and this is Sam with his hair and his eyes, and god even when Gabriel had barely seen them at a distance those eyes drove right threw him, now he was faced with the full view of them, they seemed to drill into his very soul. Oh god, those were the very definition of 'puppy eyes', they were big and sorrowful, and looking straight at him and Gabriel had no idea how to cope.

"Hey," Sam said casually , "Don't I know you?"

"Yes, Gabe admitted, awkwardly trying to clear his throat. He could do this, he could do this.

"From the Laundromat right?" Sam smiled

Okay, Gabriel could deal with the fluttering in his stomach, and the pain in his abdominal muscles . He was a man, he was a villain, and he was not going to fall moaning into a heap because someone smiled at him, even if it was _**Sam**_.

"I'm Sam," Sam introduced himself,

"I know," Gabriel breathed, then mentally hit himself which, given his powers, actually hurt. He coughed, and then began in a louder voice. "I mean, I'm Gabriel. "

"Nice to meet you Gabriel, or properly meet you, as the case may be." Sam paused in his speach to smile at him, "I was wondering, could you do me a favour? There's this huge empty building in the centre of town, and okay it's little old, and the paint is a little scratched, but the council want to pull it down, but instead it could be used as a homeless shelter."

Gabriel stood, gazing upwards at Sam's lips, the words themselves somehow washing over him, he was too busy trying not to imagine how it would feel to kiss those lips, just to grab this wonderful human being who cares so much and to force his lips to Gabriel's own, to loose himself in him, to be completely owned.

The van roared into life just as the devise began to blink. Fuck! Gabriel thought, giving Sam one last look before fiddling with the controls, if he could just get the van to his pre-set course then he could go back to talking to Sam, who was still talking to him.

"You know what, never mind." Sam said, turning his back to Gabriel and beginning to walk away

"No, I," Gabriel spluttered. He had to do this, he had to steal the wonderflonium , he could catch Sam later and sign that dam petition , he could get Sam later. The indecision wrecked him for a moment before he shrugged:

"A man's gotta do

what a man's gotta do

Don't plan the plan

If you can't follow through "

Gabriel ducked into an alley, changing into his costume. He had to get that wonderflonium, then he could get Sam.

"All that matters

Taking matters into your own hands

Soon I'll control everything

My wish is your command "

There was a loud thump then Miss Knife landed on top of the moving truck, her hair flowing behind her, posing, with her blade pointing straight ahead in a most impractical, if symbolic, manner . There she began to sing, stealing The Trickster's song.

"Stand back Everyone,

Nothing here to see ,

Just imminent danger,

In the middle of it, me "

She gave a slight laugh and winked, as if the invisible observe and her shared some joke."

" Yes Miss Knife is here,

Hair Blowing in the Breeze ,

The day needs my saving expertise "

She twirled her knife once before plunging in into the remote control device. She shrugged then looked straight up.

"A girl 's gotta do what a girl 's gotta do ,"

She leapt off the van in front of a civilian , who seemed impressed, much to the Trickster's annoyance who was trying to get the remote control to work, as the van was swerving violently out of control nearly endangering several people. Miss Knife continued to sing

" seems destiny ends wit hme saving you,

the only doom that's looming is you loving me to death "

The van swerved down an alley as The Trickster desperately tried to get the breaks to engage before it hit Sam and then Miss Knife was there, casually shoving him into the garbage. She didn't appear to even notice, as the breaks finally engaged on the van, just as Miss Knife put out her hands to stop the van, and finished the verse.

"So I'll give you a sec to catch your breath "

The Trickster couldn't take it anymore, he jumped out of his hiding place and strode towards Miss Knife. "You idiot, you utter imbecile"

"Why, The Trickster," She drawled, " I should have known that this pathetic endeavour was one of your plans,"

"You almost killed him!" The Trickster shouted, trying to see past the so called Superhero, and cursing the fact that he was so short.

"Oh I don't know," Miss Knife smiled that stupid fake smile, "I don't remember it quite like that." Suddenly she pinned her dagger up against his throat "I do believe it's curtains for you Trickster, dirty, mucky curtains."

Suddenly there was a movement from the garbage bags and Sam began to clamber out, being all limbs, and singing."

" Thank you dear Miss Knife,

For saving my lots of strife,

Especially indeed for

Saving my own life,"

Sam finally managed to climb out of the garbage bags and shook himself down before smiling at Miss Knife, who spun the Trickster around so he was forced against the van.

" I would be splattered

I'd be crushed into debris

Thank you ma'am for saving me "

Miss Knife just looked Sam up and down and an entirely diffe rent and far more predatory smile appeared on her face " Don't worry about it-A girl's gotta do What a girl's gotta do "

Sam joined in as a duet " You came from above "

The Trickster couldn't believe a word of what he was hearing " Are you kidding me?"

Miss Knife sang " It seems destiny ends with me saving you ,"

Sam joined in " I wonder what you're capable of "

The Trickster was flung past the van, he turned round and snarled " What heist were you watching?" Then he glanced between Miss Knife and Sam " stop looking at him like that!"

Miss Knife ignored him instead choosing to step towards Sam, and gently lean up to caress his face " When you're the best you can't rest, what's the use "

Sam lent into it " My heart is beating like a drum,"

" Did you notice that the threw you in the garbage? " The Trickster demanded angrily.

" If there's ass needs kicking some ticking bomb to defuse,"

" Must. Must be in shock "

The Trickster frowned, entering the van and picking up the wonderflonium . " I stopped the van! The remote control was in my hand! "

Miss Kinfe was even closer to Sam now, and was leaning upwards towards his face " The only doom that's looming is you loving me to death,"

Sam seemed to be beginning to lean down " Assuming I'm not loving you to death, "

The Trickster looked at the wonderflonium in his hand, and the scene going on in front of the van and could feel his heart shattering into a thousand pieces. " Whatever ,"

He mumbled, getting out the back of the van.

The duo finished their duet. " So please give me a sec to catch my breath "

" Balls" The Trickster muttered as he limped away from the scene, his overall aim now lost to him, as well as what was left of his pride.


End file.
